Dealing With Differences Of Opinion

We all know that we are different and therefore we have different views and understanding for the same situation. Two people can see and hear the exact same thing and give two completely different intrepretations of what occured.

As a married couple this happens more often than not. When it does make sure that you discuss the details with each other as each of you intrepeted them to be. Then if you can not come into agreement of what should, if anything, be done next take it to scripture.

The answer for every problem, situation, and circumstance is somewhere between Genesis and Revelations. You just have to be willing to take the time to find it. Once you do, then sit down and study the word. It may be necessary for you to each study it seperately and then to come back together for a final discussion. That is a determination that you have to make based on your personal relationship.

Pray over it individually and as a couple and invite the Holy Spirit to guide and direct what should occur next. Never try to figure it yourself.

Don't Rely on Your Spouse For Your Joy

So many times we allow our spouse to dictate who we are and how much joy we have in our lives. It is up to you to make a commitment that you are complete in Christ Jesus. Philipians 4:13 says, "I can do all things through Christ you strengthens me." It does not say anything about your spouse.

It is not to say that you can not look to your spouse in times in difficulty or as a source of comfort. What it does mean is that you have Psalms 27:1 in your heart, mind, and spirit when it says, " The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life of whom shall I be afraid."

The Lord created joy for those that seek him first in all things. When you allow your spouse to dictate your attitude towards God you are failing to trust God. Psalms 37:4 says, "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." Focus on the plan that the Lord has for you. Understand that He will bless you, but it has to be on His time, not your time.

When times are tough find a scripture that touches you spiritually and post throughout locations that you can mediatate on it on a daily basis until it gets in your heart.

What To Do When You Fall Out of Love

Unfortuanately, I hear many married couples say that they have simply fallen out of love with their spouse. This is very sad and although difficult to come back from it can be done. This happens because although you give plenty of lip service to the fact that we have unconditional love for our spouse, we really do not. We may want to believe it, but don't actually believe in our hearts.

We are still prone to the world's definition of love, which states that we love according to how we are treated, their ways, how they make us feel etc. Unconditional love in it's purest form doesn't take any of these into consideration. Also notice in the Bible, no where does God command the wife to love her husband. However in Ephesians 5 God commands husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church.

Here are a couple of suggestions to get the love back in your marriage.
1. Get back to the romance. Even if it seems strange or uncomfortable, it will begin to feel natural as time goes on.

2. Get in your Bibles, together and study every scripture on marriage according to God.

3. Fellowship with other married couples that are righteous in their conduct, character and commitment.

4. Spend time together as a couple and continue dating.

Listen to your spirit and invite the Holy Spirit into your marriage to guide, direct, teach you how to have the instition of marriage as God intended.

Sometimes You Have To Let Your Spouse Fall

As hard as it is sometimes, as long as your spouse is not going to cause grave danger to your family you have to let them fall. God teaches throughout the Bible that we will fall from time to time because we are not perfect. We all know that Jesus was the only perfect man and we are continually being perfected.

Sometimes God is putting your spouse through something so that when he feels it is time He can bring them out of it. Then once they come out of it, they can see that only God can do it. Regardless of how much we love them, it is nothing in comparison to the way that God loves them.

Step back and allow God to work with them. When the come out of it, they will be much stronger as they build their relationship with the trinity of God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit.

Let them know that you are there for them in the natural and that you will love them continuously with unconditional love. Let God be God.

Set Goals Together

We all know the importance of setting goals both long and short term for our lives. We do it for ourselves, our children, careers, and everything else. It is also important to set goals for your marriage.

Sit down with each other and create a plan to reach both your long and short term goals as a couple, and family. It has often been said that the plan didn't fail, it was that you failed to plan. Before the Holy Spirit can guide and direct your plan, you must first provide a plan.

You can have all of the faith in the world, but we know that without works, faith is dead. When you make goals together it binds your marriage together into oneness. Habakkuk 2:2 states, "Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it." Take time to write it down and make a systematic plan to reach your goals.

It will cause you to cleave to one another. Set different types of goals such as spiritual, financial, administrative, family, educational goals together as one.

Dealing With The Major Decisions

Throughout the course of life, there are times when you have to make major decisions that will affect your marriage. These definitely deserve time for deep conversation and time for each of you to come together in prayer both on your own and together.

There always should be a format that is used for these type of decisions.

1.) Seek counsel from the trinity.

Go to the trinity of God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit first and foremost. Let them guide you in your final decision. Be careful of counsel from outside sources. If you do seek outside counsel be sure that it is Godly and not just someone else's opinion.

2.) Focus on the final outcome and not on the course, by counting the costs.

Be sure the outcome is what is best for your family and marriage in the long run. Just because the course looks attractive or fun, it may no be what is in the best interest of your family and marriage.

3.) Do not rush into anything.

These decisions take time to really consider and to put up in prayer. Make sure they are done in God's time and not your own. If you don't know what to do, then it is better to do nothing than to rush and do the wrong thing. God will tell you what to do when He wants you to do it.

Remember God is soverign and reveal what he wants to you, when you need it. You can't rush God. Matthew 7:24 teaches us to build our house on the rock of Jesus and your house will not fall."

Hang Out Time

There comes a time in marriage when you just have to do absolutely nothing of importance. Just hang out together in times of fun. Be spontaneous and do things just for the sake of doing it. Don't let everything be by the book. The two of you are responsible enough to make sure that home is taken care of and not to do anything that will cause harm to your household.

Don't worry about every penny or that the house is in perfect order at all times. Don't be afraid to live a little. Remember, Matthew 5:48 says, " Father in Heaven is perfect." No where in the Bible does it say that we are perfect. If we were perfect, then God would not have given us the Holy Spirit. Mark 1:8 says, I indeed baptized you with water, but He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit."

God never wanted you to be bored, or to do without. He wants you to be able to have a wonderful life that is based on the word of God. Being a good steward over your finances and home does not mean that you have to become a slave to them. Do not put your finances or materialistic things above God. Seek God first and give God the glory and he will see that your needs are meant.

Love Your Spouse According to God

How many times has your spouse done something that deeply offended, hurt, or disgusted you to the pit of your soul. Have you ever felt dead when you look at them or would rather kiss a venemous snake than them? God is all power and can and will deliver you from all of the above if you delight yourself in the Lord at all times.

In John 15:14, "These things I command you, that you love one another." God just commanded you to love others. God wants you to love unconditionally the way that He loves you. Regardless of what the other has done, said, or even thought they are still a child of God. They were created just as you were created.

Therefore, you must love according to the word of God not according to their ways. In Matthew 5:44, "But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who spifefully use you and persecute you." This means that even when things seem impossible and hatefullness, deceit, and despair, are within the situation or circumstance you must love them.

In 1Corinthians 13:4, "Love suffers long and is kind: love does not envy, love does not parade itself, is not puffed up, does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil, does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, endures all things." This scripture is one that is commonly quoted, but it is what I consider to be one of the strongest scriptures in the Bible. It expresses the love of God. It is the type of love that should be shared with your spouse.

Love is something that knows no limit, there is absolutely nothing that it can not conquer. God loves each and every one of us for who He created us to be. Love your spouse according to the word of God and where there is death, the Holy Spirit can restore life. God is not concerned with individual ways, so love according to God and not their ways.

Do not misunderstand trust for love. Just because you love someone does not mean that you trust them. If you know someone steals, continue to love them but still watch your belongings. Trust in God at all times. The Bible teaches us that as husband and wife, you are to cleave to one another and become one. There will be problems, trials, and tribulations within your marriage. However, solve them according to the word of God and do not lean to your own understanding. You must put on the full armor of God to fight your battles, not the changing nature of man.

Newsflash: You are not God

I think we all know someone that has said over and over again, I wish that my spouse would....or he/she should.....or the infamous if only.... . All of these statements are something that each and every one of has said at some point in our lives concerning someone else.

Newsflash.. I know that this may come to you as a shock, but you are not God, Jesus or the Holy Spirit. Ezekiel 36:27, " I will put my Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statues, and you will keep My judgements and do them." No where in the Bible does it say that we are the Holy Spirit. So where do we get the audacity to think that we can do what God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit can do in someone else's life.

The scripture teaches us that the Holy Spirit is put within us and we are to follow the commandments, statutes, and judgements according to God. 1Corinthians15:51, " We shall be changed in a moment in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised incorruptible."

Stop trying to play God and change your spouse. God is God all by his self, he doesn't need or want our help in changing someone else. He has a plan for each and every one of us. When we interfere in God's plan that He has for our spouse then God must go to plan B. Focus on what God is telling you to change about you so that God can use you. Once you begin to change, your spouse will see the change in you and then they can begin to change according to God's will.

Allow God to be the directer, producer, author of your life and as you live as a credible witness. You can only be a witness according to the conduct, character, and commitment of yourself. Stop trying to play God and change your spouse. You don't even know your own future, so how can you expect to know your spouse's future?

What a Husband Needs from His Wife

It is no coincedence that men and women were created to be together. In Proverbs 18:22 it says, " He who finds a wife finds a good thing. And obtains favor from the Lord." As women, we are continually referred to as "Helper" through out the entire Bible. As you also know the Holy Spirit is also referred to as "Helper". The Bible uses the same word to describe both the Holy Spirit and women. There are 5 shared roles. We all know about the Holy Spirit, so I will focus on the roles of women.

1.) Companion. We should always be our husbands number one companion. It is crucial to always keep fun and adventure in the marriage. Never let boredom enter into the picture. Keep dating and doing new things.

2.) Comforter. Our husbands should have a safe place to fall. We should always be there to provide comfort. They should be able to come to us with any and everything. Absolutely nothing should be off limits. The world continually puts undue and undeserved stress on our husbands, we should be a venue of relaxation.

3.) Couselor. We need to be there to counsel when and however necessary at all times. Women have the spirit of truth and are to uplift our husbands with the word of God.

4.) Convictor. There are times when we must tell our husbands that what they are doing is wrong. However, it must be done without condemnation. Once we convict, then we are to restore.

5.) Connector. Women have the spirit of peace. We want everyone to get along in relationships. We keep the family unit running smoothly.

This is how women show love, but in order for them to succeed it must be done with a gentle spirit. Always keep your faith in God and put your faith in God.