While it is true that every woman needs other women as friends and every man needs other men friends, your absolute closest and absolute best friend needs to be your spouse. This must hold true in your marriage in order for you to have a 100% chance of happiness.
You must be best friends with your spouse if you want to protect it. Value each other with intimacy. When God created Adam and Eve, he created them completely exposed to each other in all aspects. There should be absolutely nothing that you can not expose to your spouse.
The best way to begin a wonderful marriage is to take the time to develop a strong friendship from the start. After your relationship with God, let your friendship with each other be your foundation on which you build with agape love.
Proverbs 17:17 says, " A friend loves at all times." You should be a safe place for each other and be there for each other in times of adversity. Be faithful to each other at all times. You are never best friends with someone when there is unfaithfulness. Don't ever threaten any type of unfaithfulness, it will bring trouble and strife in the marriage. It will give the devil a foot hold to grab.
Always believe in each other. When the world is continually telling you that you are a failure, you should know that in the natural world your spouse is on your side when things seem impossible. As a spouse, you should always speak belief and positive destiny.
Learn to celebrate your differences as men and women. Don't be ashamed to show your true self. Be glorious as you accept your differences without rejection. There should be proactive communication in which all topics and circumstances are discussed. Just because you don't agree on everything does not give you the right to condemn your spouse. Love them with agape love at all times.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
What a Wife Needs from her Husband
Godly women want their husbands to be a man of Godly conduct, character, and commitment. Godly women want to know that their husband is strongly rooted in the word of God. In Ephesians 5:25 it says, "Husbands, love your wives , just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her." This is a tremendous charge for the husbands. This means that husbands are to give themselves to their wives as Christ gave himself to the church.
The most important quality that a man wants from his wife is honor. In order for honor present itself, husbands must not try to force it onto their wife. Godly wives want their husbands to make things right in the home. They want leadership and security for themselves and their familly. There are three main characteristics that every husband should possess. They are prophet, priest, and savior head.
To be a prophet they diligently seek a relationship with the trinity of God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. This is where the responsibility of initiating prayer and bringing the entire family closer to the trinity lays.
To be a priest means that husbands senitivilly and sacrafically gives for his wife's needs and helps her deal with spiritual, financial, mental, emotional and family needs. Men in general are extremely sensitive to their own needs and need to show that same sensitivity to the needs of their wife.
Ephesians 5:23, "For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is the head of he church, and He is the savior of the body." Husbands be the Savior head in your family. Anyone in the family should be able to come to you to get a understanding of the word. They should know that you will provide leadership according to the word of God.
When husbands live according to these charges according to the word of God, then their wives will florish. It will allow wives to fulfil their gifts and live their lives according to the plan and purpose of God.
The most important quality that a man wants from his wife is honor. In order for honor present itself, husbands must not try to force it onto their wife. Godly wives want their husbands to make things right in the home. They want leadership and security for themselves and their familly. There are three main characteristics that every husband should possess. They are prophet, priest, and savior head.
To be a prophet they diligently seek a relationship with the trinity of God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. This is where the responsibility of initiating prayer and bringing the entire family closer to the trinity lays.
To be a priest means that husbands senitivilly and sacrafically gives for his wife's needs and helps her deal with spiritual, financial, mental, emotional and family needs. Men in general are extremely sensitive to their own needs and need to show that same sensitivity to the needs of their wife.
Ephesians 5:23, "For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is the head of he church, and He is the savior of the body." Husbands be the Savior head in your family. Anyone in the family should be able to come to you to get a understanding of the word. They should know that you will provide leadership according to the word of God.
When husbands live according to these charges according to the word of God, then their wives will florish. It will allow wives to fulfil their gifts and live their lives according to the plan and purpose of God.
Friday, January 23, 2009
What a Husband Needs from His Wife
It is no coincedence that men and women were created to be together. In Proverbs 18:22 it says, " He who finds a wife finds a good thing. And obtains favor from the Lord." As women, we are continually referred to as "Helper" through out the entire Bible. As you also know the Holy Spirit is also referred to as "Helper". The Bible uses the same word to describe both the Holy Spirit and women. There are 5 shared roles. We all know about the Holy Spirit, so I will focus on the roles of women.
1.) Companion. We should always be our husbands number one companion. It is crucial to always keep fun and adventure in the marriage. Never let boredom enter into the picture. Keep dating and doing new things.
2.) Comforter. Our husbands should have a safe place to fall. We should always be there to provide comfort. They should be able to come to us with any and everything. Absolutely nothing should be off limits. The world continually puts undue and undeserved stress on our husbands, we should be a venue of relaxation.
3.) Couselor. We need to be there to counsel when and however necessary at all times. Women have the spirit of truth and are to uplift our husbands with the word of God.
4.) Convictor. There are times when we must tell our husbands that what they are doing is wrong. However, it must be done without condemnation. Once we convict, then we are to restore.
5.) Connector. Women have the spirit of peace. We want everyone to get along in relationships. We keep the family unit running smoothly.
This is how women show love, but in order for them to succeed it must be done with a gentle spirit. Always keep your faith in God and put your faith in God.
1.) Companion. We should always be our husbands number one companion. It is crucial to always keep fun and adventure in the marriage. Never let boredom enter into the picture. Keep dating and doing new things.
2.) Comforter. Our husbands should have a safe place to fall. We should always be there to provide comfort. They should be able to come to us with any and everything. Absolutely nothing should be off limits. The world continually puts undue and undeserved stress on our husbands, we should be a venue of relaxation.
3.) Couselor. We need to be there to counsel when and however necessary at all times. Women have the spirit of truth and are to uplift our husbands with the word of God.
4.) Convictor. There are times when we must tell our husbands that what they are doing is wrong. However, it must be done without condemnation. Once we convict, then we are to restore.
5.) Connector. Women have the spirit of peace. We want everyone to get along in relationships. We keep the family unit running smoothly.
This is how women show love, but in order for them to succeed it must be done with a gentle spirit. Always keep your faith in God and put your faith in God.
Make the Love Decision
Love is not a feeling it is a decision. Feelings change daily, if you have made the decision to love then your feelings become obsolete. You are commanded to love according to God. In 1Corinthians 13:4,"Love suffers long and is kind, does not envy, love does not parade itself. Is not puffed up, does not behave seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil, does not rejoice in inquity, but rejoices in the truth....love never fails."
We are to love each other the way that God loves us. Hebrews 13:5 says," I will never leave you nor forsake you." We are to love each other regardless of how we are treated. When you have a understanding of what true love is, everything else is a cheap substitute.
When you say the words, "I love you" to someone make sure they have meaning. To say them without meaning serves no merit. Marriage is not a contract to protect your rights. When you get married you give up your individual rights and everything that you have becomes your spouses and vice versa.
It is only God's love when it is lead by your decision. Jesus didn't worship emotions so neither should you. Learn how to forgive AND forget. In Romans 8:1 it states, " There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus." If you are to be like Christ then you are not to condemn others.
Know that God is love and that you are to love like God.
We are to love each other the way that God loves us. Hebrews 13:5 says," I will never leave you nor forsake you." We are to love each other regardless of how we are treated. When you have a understanding of what true love is, everything else is a cheap substitute.
When you say the words, "I love you" to someone make sure they have meaning. To say them without meaning serves no merit. Marriage is not a contract to protect your rights. When you get married you give up your individual rights and everything that you have becomes your spouses and vice versa.
It is only God's love when it is lead by your decision. Jesus didn't worship emotions so neither should you. Learn how to forgive AND forget. In Romans 8:1 it states, " There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus." If you are to be like Christ then you are not to condemn others.
Know that God is love and that you are to love like God.
Practice Proactive Communication
The only mind reader is God, so please stop expecting your spouse to be a mind reader! Every great marriage has had some type of trial or tribulation. God places them in our lives so that we can give Him the glory and so He can show that He is God.
The difference is how do we handle it. Communication is absolutely critical in every relationship but can make or break your marriage. There are three basic types of communication 1.) Radioactive 2.) Reactive and 3.) Proactive.
Radioactive communication is a guaranteed argument waiting to happen. It is painful, detrimental, absolutely no intimacy, extremely tense. This is when you purposely stab each other in the back, pour salt on the wound, and intentionally try to hurt and place blame.
Reactive communication is when you react after something arises. Tension can rise because you are unprepared. If not dealt with it can turn into radioactive communication.
Proactive communication is when you communicate rationally, listening to each other, giving your opinion, taking each other's opinion into consideration. Communicating about something before it becomes a issue. You are fully prepared with no surprises. You come together in oneness.
You can't have a good marriage until you get rid of the radioactive and reactive communication. There should be absolutely nothing that you can't have proactive communication. When conflict arises, always go to the word of God. The Bible has the final word.
The difference is how do we handle it. Communication is absolutely critical in every relationship but can make or break your marriage. There are three basic types of communication 1.) Radioactive 2.) Reactive and 3.) Proactive.
Radioactive communication is a guaranteed argument waiting to happen. It is painful, detrimental, absolutely no intimacy, extremely tense. This is when you purposely stab each other in the back, pour salt on the wound, and intentionally try to hurt and place blame.
Reactive communication is when you react after something arises. Tension can rise because you are unprepared. If not dealt with it can turn into radioactive communication.
Proactive communication is when you communicate rationally, listening to each other, giving your opinion, taking each other's opinion into consideration. Communicating about something before it becomes a issue. You are fully prepared with no surprises. You come together in oneness.
You can't have a good marriage until you get rid of the radioactive and reactive communication. There should be absolutely nothing that you can't have proactive communication. When conflict arises, always go to the word of God. The Bible has the final word.
Don't Have Unrealistic Expectations
There are so many times that we come into marriage with so many unrealistic expectations of what defines what our spouse is supposed to do for us. A major reason for divorce is that we become disappointed when our spouse does not live up to our pre conceived idea of marriage. When this happens, it is based on the systems of the world and we therefore try to use the world's way to remendy the situation and we fail.
Just as when you receive an apparatus or equipment to put together, you also receive some sort of directions. If you don't follow the directions, then there are bound to be errors. If for example you have a piece of electronic equipment you do not use the instructions to put a desk together.
In Genesis 2:18 KJV, the Bible says, "And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone, I will make a help meet for him." If God created marriage, then we are to use His instruction manual, the Bible.
You have to be happy first as a person before you can enter into marriage. Don't expect marriage to complete you. It is imperative that you realize that you are complete in Jesus.
Know that you are worth fighting for and be sure to balance expectations realistically. Always go to the Bible to resolve any type of conflict. Keep excitement and adventure in your marriage.
Just as when you receive an apparatus or equipment to put together, you also receive some sort of directions. If you don't follow the directions, then there are bound to be errors. If for example you have a piece of electronic equipment you do not use the instructions to put a desk together.
In Genesis 2:18 KJV, the Bible says, "And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone, I will make a help meet for him." If God created marriage, then we are to use His instruction manual, the Bible.
You have to be happy first as a person before you can enter into marriage. Don't expect marriage to complete you. It is imperative that you realize that you are complete in Jesus.
Know that you are worth fighting for and be sure to balance expectations realistically. Always go to the Bible to resolve any type of conflict. Keep excitement and adventure in your marriage.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Happy Marriage Rules 101
In every marriage there will be trials and tribulations. The manner in which you deal with them will be the deciding factor of whether or not your marriage is Heaven on earth or Hell on earth.
Rule 1: Don't air out your dirty laundry. Keep the home private. Ephesians 5:31 says, " For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. When it comes to private issues they should not be shared with anyone outside of the marriage. This is especially true in times of conflict. The two of you may work past something, but someone else is still festering over it and continues to give it life.
Rule 2: Never stop dating. Keep the sparks flying that initially attracted you one another. Nothing is worse than getting bored and stuck in a rut. Continue going on dates and weekend getaways. Spend quality time with one another outside of the home. Make it a point to continue to learn something new about each other all of the time.
Rule 3: Try to out love and out give the other person. Agape love is so much more than what someone else can do for you. The more you love the more love the other will be will to give back to you. The same goes for giving. God knows how much we love him, by the way that we love our neighbor.
Rule 4: Don't keep any secrets. One of the worst things you can do is to keep secrets within your marriage. You are to be one flesh. How can you be one flesh, if you are hiding something. When you hide that means you have to lie, which leads to sin. Why would you want to invite sin into your marriage?
Rule 5: This is probably the most important and critical rule of them all. Seek God first at all times. Before you do, say, react, move or anything else always make sure that it is of God. Always be a credible witness in your conduct, character, and committment.
Rule 1: Don't air out your dirty laundry. Keep the home private. Ephesians 5:31 says, " For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. When it comes to private issues they should not be shared with anyone outside of the marriage. This is especially true in times of conflict. The two of you may work past something, but someone else is still festering over it and continues to give it life.
Rule 2: Never stop dating. Keep the sparks flying that initially attracted you one another. Nothing is worse than getting bored and stuck in a rut. Continue going on dates and weekend getaways. Spend quality time with one another outside of the home. Make it a point to continue to learn something new about each other all of the time.
Rule 3: Try to out love and out give the other person. Agape love is so much more than what someone else can do for you. The more you love the more love the other will be will to give back to you. The same goes for giving. God knows how much we love him, by the way that we love our neighbor.
Rule 4: Don't keep any secrets. One of the worst things you can do is to keep secrets within your marriage. You are to be one flesh. How can you be one flesh, if you are hiding something. When you hide that means you have to lie, which leads to sin. Why would you want to invite sin into your marriage?
Rule 5: This is probably the most important and critical rule of them all. Seek God first at all times. Before you do, say, react, move or anything else always make sure that it is of God. Always be a credible witness in your conduct, character, and committment.
Choose Your Mate Wisely
Life is full of decisions, whether it is something simple or complex. We make decisions from the time we get up to the time that we go to bed. However, there are some major life decisions that we must take considerable time otherwise they can mean devastation if we are not careful.
It is critical to understand that life decisions are long lasting and life changing. The number one decision that you will make in life is that of you will marry. The word of God, teaches that God hates divorce. In Genesis 2:18, says that"It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him." Then in Matthew 19:6, the Bible says, "Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder."
We are therefore not to always seek God first and foremost in our lives. When you have to put something together or assemble something, you are provided with a instruction manual. When you choose to do it your way, something is almost guaranteed to be incorrect. Use the Bible as your instruction manual for your marriage. God created the institution of marriage, so he should be your source of what to do at all times.
When you follow the system of the world in your marriage, you are taking a gamble. Why would you want to gamble with someone else's life? Why would you want to put your own relationship with God at risk?
Choose someone that you are equally yolked. Choose your spouse based on God and how you see Jesus in them.
It is critical to understand that life decisions are long lasting and life changing. The number one decision that you will make in life is that of you will marry. The word of God, teaches that God hates divorce. In Genesis 2:18, says that"It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him." Then in Matthew 19:6, the Bible says, "Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder."
We are therefore not to always seek God first and foremost in our lives. When you have to put something together or assemble something, you are provided with a instruction manual. When you choose to do it your way, something is almost guaranteed to be incorrect. Use the Bible as your instruction manual for your marriage. God created the institution of marriage, so he should be your source of what to do at all times.
When you follow the system of the world in your marriage, you are taking a gamble. Why would you want to gamble with someone else's life? Why would you want to put your own relationship with God at risk?
Choose someone that you are equally yolked. Choose your spouse based on God and how you see Jesus in them.
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