When my husband and I first decided to get married we can up with 10 Commandments for our marriage. I would encourage the two of you to do the same. Here are our 10 that we came up with as it pertains to us. They are all based from the Bible.
1. Seek God First. Matthew 6:33 and Mark 12
2. Daily prayer together as a couple Acts 6:4, Ephesians 6:18 Jude 1:20
3. Honor and respect each other at all times.
4. Open and non judgemental communication Eph 4:29 Phm 1:6
5. Daily verbal communication.
6. Continue dating throughout our marriage on a regular basis.
7. Continuous education in marriage.
8. Divorce is not a option Matthew 5:31-32 Mark 10:7-9
9. Never under any circumstances go to bed angry.
10. Continue to uplift and encourage each other according to the trinity.
It is not to say that your it has to remain at 10 commandments. They may change or as a couple you may add more or the order of priority may change. Always go to the Bible as it relates to your marriage.
Showing posts with label Communication. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Communication. Show all posts
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Train Up A Child
The word parent is more than a noun, it needs to be a active verb that you do for your child(ren). Remember that God created each and every one of us, He then birthed them through a mother, but they come from Him.
Through several scriptures in the Bible it talks about not having sex, which is the sin of fornication, prior to marriage. Therefore, I will keep my focus on the role of parents as the married couple. However, this article is really for all parents whether they have children or have a close relationship with children. Just because you didn't give birth to them does not by any means that you can not parent.
Proverbs 22:6, " Train up a child in the way he should go. When he is old he will not depart from it." This means that you are to train your child to praise, worship, honor, and give God the glory. Joshua, put it very simple and eloquently, when he said in Joshua 24:13, "But as for me and my house we will serve the Lord." Do not make any exception on behalf of your children.
Make your children participate in church, daily prayers, home bible study, and self bible study. Let them know who they are according to God and not the world. Don't let them just wander in the wilderness. However, if they fall unless it will kill them or cause serious detriment, as hard as it is, you have to let them slip and fall. Then if you did the above, they will develop their own relationship with God. When they get back up they will give God the glory and learn from whatever caused them to fall.
This does not mean that you keep them out of the world. Show them the world, but let them understand they are not of the world. 1John2:15, "Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in Him. For all that is in the world-the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life-is not of the Father but is of the world."
When you come together as parents, it will bring you closer together as husband and wife. Understand your roles as father and mother. You must come together in the raising of the child. In the area of children, proactive communication is critical. When children do something you have to react immediately. The luxuary of waiting for a specific meeting or even a phone call to your spouse is often not permitted. Therefore you must have already come together to discuss what you will each do as a team. If you and your spouse disagree or react differently your children will put you two against each other and play the lessor of two evils against you.
Children learn by example not by what comes out of your mouth. If they see you two acting unGodly in your marriage, then they will do the same when they get married. They will learn what marriage is supposed to be according to what they see you do in your marriage. Therefore, it is absolutely critical that you show them a God-driven marriage.
Through several scriptures in the Bible it talks about not having sex, which is the sin of fornication, prior to marriage. Therefore, I will keep my focus on the role of parents as the married couple. However, this article is really for all parents whether they have children or have a close relationship with children. Just because you didn't give birth to them does not by any means that you can not parent.
Proverbs 22:6, " Train up a child in the way he should go. When he is old he will not depart from it." This means that you are to train your child to praise, worship, honor, and give God the glory. Joshua, put it very simple and eloquently, when he said in Joshua 24:13, "But as for me and my house we will serve the Lord." Do not make any exception on behalf of your children.
Make your children participate in church, daily prayers, home bible study, and self bible study. Let them know who they are according to God and not the world. Don't let them just wander in the wilderness. However, if they fall unless it will kill them or cause serious detriment, as hard as it is, you have to let them slip and fall. Then if you did the above, they will develop their own relationship with God. When they get back up they will give God the glory and learn from whatever caused them to fall.
This does not mean that you keep them out of the world. Show them the world, but let them understand they are not of the world. 1John2:15, "Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in Him. For all that is in the world-the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life-is not of the Father but is of the world."
When you come together as parents, it will bring you closer together as husband and wife. Understand your roles as father and mother. You must come together in the raising of the child. In the area of children, proactive communication is critical. When children do something you have to react immediately. The luxuary of waiting for a specific meeting or even a phone call to your spouse is often not permitted. Therefore you must have already come together to discuss what you will each do as a team. If you and your spouse disagree or react differently your children will put you two against each other and play the lessor of two evils against you.
Children learn by example not by what comes out of your mouth. If they see you two acting unGodly in your marriage, then they will do the same when they get married. They will learn what marriage is supposed to be according to what they see you do in your marriage. Therefore, it is absolutely critical that you show them a God-driven marriage.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Mix It Up
It is so unbelieveably critical that you keep things new and fresh within your marriage. The worst thing that you can do is get stuck in a rut doing the same things over and over again. Change schedules around, keep it spontaneous and fun. I know that there are somethings that have to be on a schedule, but that is not everything. Even if you do the same things, but change the time it can work wonders in your marriage.
When the week becomes so predictible that your spouse knows exactly what you are doing, for how long, what time, what day of the week things tend to get boring awfully fast. When that happens, your spouse can stop paying attention to you. They feel that there is nothing more to learn, so why should they have to pay attention.
When your spouse doesn't have any desire to pay attention to you it opens the door to lack of communication, lack of affection, lack of excitement, and boredom. All of which if they enter into your marriage can lead to devastating effects within your marriage. Simply put they can all be stopped, if you would just mix it up.
Don't try to change everything at once because it can lead to chaos and confusion, which can also raise havoc within the marriage. Make small changes at a time. At first you probably won't even notice them until you make several of them where you can see the cumalative change.
Just always remember you responsibilities to your family and that nothing gets left behind. Reinvent ways to ensure everything that is necessary still completed. Nothing of importance should be neglected in the name of mixing it up.
When the week becomes so predictible that your spouse knows exactly what you are doing, for how long, what time, what day of the week things tend to get boring awfully fast. When that happens, your spouse can stop paying attention to you. They feel that there is nothing more to learn, so why should they have to pay attention.
When your spouse doesn't have any desire to pay attention to you it opens the door to lack of communication, lack of affection, lack of excitement, and boredom. All of which if they enter into your marriage can lead to devastating effects within your marriage. Simply put they can all be stopped, if you would just mix it up.
Don't try to change everything at once because it can lead to chaos and confusion, which can also raise havoc within the marriage. Make small changes at a time. At first you probably won't even notice them until you make several of them where you can see the cumalative change.
Just always remember you responsibilities to your family and that nothing gets left behind. Reinvent ways to ensure everything that is necessary still completed. Nothing of importance should be neglected in the name of mixing it up.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Love Language
When God created us, he created each of us to be different from one another. We all have our own ways, thoughts, mind sets, and emotions. Therefore, there are different ways in which we understand and relate to other people. Even in the case of what the world calls identical twins there are differences on some level.
There are three basic ways that we as people comprehend trust, respect, and yes...even love. As you know there are two forms of communication. They are verbal and non verbal. Whether or not you realize it, you utilize both in your every day life. There are three different ways in which others intrpret what we are trying to say. They are 1.)Auditory-pretty much what comes out of our mouth. Whenever we say something they pick up on our tone. Is it loving and soft or is it sarcastic, hard, or hesitiate? 2.) Visual-is simply what we do that they can see. Do we do things just to keep them quiet and from bickering or do we do them out of love and compassion. 3.) Kinsetic- How do we show affection towards them? Do we greet them with a hug and kiss or do we push them away when they even look like they want to get close?
Find out what your spouse's love language. If they are auditory they will need to hear you say "I love you". The spouse that is visual may not necessarily need to hear it, but see it through maybe receiving constant gifts for no reason. The kinsetic spouse may need to have that hug and kiss every morning. Just because your love language may be different, be willing to take the stretch and submit to their love language.
Be communicative about your love language. Let your spouse know what you need from them to show you that they have feelings of love towards you. Do not expect them to just know. The Holy Spirit is the only mind reader, don't expect your spouse to be a mind reader.
True love goes both ways between spouses. Before you can receive love, you must first be willing to give love.The more you speak their love language, the more they will speak your love language.
There are three basic ways that we as people comprehend trust, respect, and yes...even love. As you know there are two forms of communication. They are verbal and non verbal. Whether or not you realize it, you utilize both in your every day life. There are three different ways in which others intrpret what we are trying to say. They are 1.)Auditory-pretty much what comes out of our mouth. Whenever we say something they pick up on our tone. Is it loving and soft or is it sarcastic, hard, or hesitiate? 2.) Visual-is simply what we do that they can see. Do we do things just to keep them quiet and from bickering or do we do them out of love and compassion. 3.) Kinsetic- How do we show affection towards them? Do we greet them with a hug and kiss or do we push them away when they even look like they want to get close?
Find out what your spouse's love language. If they are auditory they will need to hear you say "I love you". The spouse that is visual may not necessarily need to hear it, but see it through maybe receiving constant gifts for no reason. The kinsetic spouse may need to have that hug and kiss every morning. Just because your love language may be different, be willing to take the stretch and submit to their love language.
Be communicative about your love language. Let your spouse know what you need from them to show you that they have feelings of love towards you. Do not expect them to just know. The Holy Spirit is the only mind reader, don't expect your spouse to be a mind reader.
True love goes both ways between spouses. Before you can receive love, you must first be willing to give love.The more you speak their love language, the more they will speak your love language.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Practice Proactive Communication
The only mind reader is God, so please stop expecting your spouse to be a mind reader! Every great marriage has had some type of trial or tribulation. God places them in our lives so that we can give Him the glory and so He can show that He is God.
The difference is how do we handle it. Communication is absolutely critical in every relationship but can make or break your marriage. There are three basic types of communication 1.) Radioactive 2.) Reactive and 3.) Proactive.
Radioactive communication is a guaranteed argument waiting to happen. It is painful, detrimental, absolutely no intimacy, extremely tense. This is when you purposely stab each other in the back, pour salt on the wound, and intentionally try to hurt and place blame.
Reactive communication is when you react after something arises. Tension can rise because you are unprepared. If not dealt with it can turn into radioactive communication.
Proactive communication is when you communicate rationally, listening to each other, giving your opinion, taking each other's opinion into consideration. Communicating about something before it becomes a issue. You are fully prepared with no surprises. You come together in oneness.
You can't have a good marriage until you get rid of the radioactive and reactive communication. There should be absolutely nothing that you can't have proactive communication. When conflict arises, always go to the word of God. The Bible has the final word.
The difference is how do we handle it. Communication is absolutely critical in every relationship but can make or break your marriage. There are three basic types of communication 1.) Radioactive 2.) Reactive and 3.) Proactive.
Radioactive communication is a guaranteed argument waiting to happen. It is painful, detrimental, absolutely no intimacy, extremely tense. This is when you purposely stab each other in the back, pour salt on the wound, and intentionally try to hurt and place blame.
Reactive communication is when you react after something arises. Tension can rise because you are unprepared. If not dealt with it can turn into radioactive communication.
Proactive communication is when you communicate rationally, listening to each other, giving your opinion, taking each other's opinion into consideration. Communicating about something before it becomes a issue. You are fully prepared with no surprises. You come together in oneness.
You can't have a good marriage until you get rid of the radioactive and reactive communication. There should be absolutely nothing that you can't have proactive communication. When conflict arises, always go to the word of God. The Bible has the final word.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
