What To Do When You Fall Out of Love

Unfortuanately, I hear many married couples say that they have simply fallen out of love with their spouse. This is very sad and although difficult to come back from it can be done. This happens because although you give plenty of lip service to the fact that we have unconditional love for our spouse, we really do not. We may want to believe it, but don't actually believe in our hearts.

We are still prone to the world's definition of love, which states that we love according to how we are treated, their ways, how they make us feel etc. Unconditional love in it's purest form doesn't take any of these into consideration. Also notice in the Bible, no where does God command the wife to love her husband. However in Ephesians 5 God commands husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church.

Here are a couple of suggestions to get the love back in your marriage.
1. Get back to the romance. Even if it seems strange or uncomfortable, it will begin to feel natural as time goes on.

2. Get in your Bibles, together and study every scripture on marriage according to God.

3. Fellowship with other married couples that are righteous in their conduct, character and commitment.

4. Spend time together as a couple and continue dating.

Listen to your spirit and invite the Holy Spirit into your marriage to guide, direct, teach you how to have the instition of marriage as God intended.

What To Do If Another Married Couple Comes To You For Counsel

There are times when another married couple will come to you for counsel. They may be able to see through your conduct, character, and commitment that the two of you can provide good counsel.

This is a touchy subject. There are a couple of ground rules that you should follow.
1.) Never do it alone. It should always be the four of you together and you should all be in agreement.

2.) Confidentiality is critical. They have trusted you with intimate details of their marriage. What they say or do must be kept strictly private.

3.) Do not judge them. You do not have that right, only God can judge. Remain objective, realistic and respectful at all times.

4.)Most importantly, keep it scriptual. Even if they are not believers, you know what is scriptual so stick to it and put it up in prayer.

Always remain true to your conduct, character, and commitment as you help them through this difficult time.

My Spouse Is Not Saved

More often than not one spouse or the other becomes saved and baptized with the Holy Spirit at the same time. Everyone gives their salvation at different times as God continues to move in each one of us separately.

In 1 Peter 3:1 says, "Wives, be in subjection to your own husband, that, if any obey not the word, they may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives." This is especially true when wives are saved and baptized with the Holy Spirit prior to their husbands. It is not for the wives to continually preach to her husband. What wives see as trying to teach their husbands to bring them closer to the trinity, husbands will often see as nagging and will resist as a result.

It is better for wives to continue to be a credible witness as she gives glory to God. Husbands will respond when they see how the trinity lives within his wife. Be a example of how to live.

In Ephesians 5:24 it says, "So let the wives be to their own husbands in everything." So husbands, if you are saved and baptized with the Holy Spirit and your wife is not, continue to lead her as a man of God. Continue to be a credible witness and your life will give life to the seed that you plant.

Regardless of how your spouse acts, always continue to allow Jesus to live through you in your character, conduct, and commitment.