Keep It Hot and Steamy

I know that some of you may be shocked to hear me and feel that keeping it hot and steamy is worldly. Let me just say this, when sex is used to show your spouse love and affection it can work wonders in your marriage. The overall health of the marriage greatly depends on how sexual you two are on a regular basis. Keep it spontaneous and unexpected. Don't let it get routine with the same time, position, location. Remember there is nothing that says it only has to take place in the bedroom!

If there is a lack of sex, more often than not there is distance, loneliness, distrust, disrespect, and a general sense of "is it really worth it." However, the opposite is true if there is sex within the marriage. There is more closeness, intimacy, affection, trust, respect, and a general sense of "marriage is wonderful and joyous."

I am not saying that your entire marriage has to be all about sex, just make sure it is not taboo in your marriage. There are some very basic questions that you should ask your spouse, such as,

1.) What can I do to please you?
2.) How many times a month, week do you need sex?
3.) Is there anything that makes you feel uncomfortable?
4.) Do you want me to initiate?

These are questions to ask each other. Don't wait until it is time for intercourse, do it when you are just having casual conversation.

The worst thing that you can do is to use sex as a weapon or reward? Don't withhold or give based on the situation. 1 Corinthians 7:3-5, " Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power or her body: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife." This means that even when you may not want to, you must consent to your spouse.

If you do not provide this to your spouse and they are not strong credible witnesses unto God, they will stray and open the door to infidelity. It is easy to see why you don't want to use sex as a weapon, however it should not be used as a reward. When it is used as a reward, your spouse can begin to think it is only given when they do something that it extraordinary or out of the normal.

Keep it hot, don't always let your spouse know what is coming. Never do anything that your spouse is offended by, but don't let a little uncomfortablity stop you. Just because you are uncomfortable in the beginning, does not mean that you won't learn to love it once you have done it for a while. Sex is just like everything else. Practice makes perfect! Don't be afraid to explore new sexual interests between the two of you. Rock each others world!

You Must Have a License for Sex

I can not begin to tell you how much it saddens me when I hear about young women and even some girls that are having intercourse way to early. There are so many pressures from mass media and from peers that say sex is alright at any age. Right now in the news there is a couple that just had a baby, the father is 13 and the mother is 10 or 11 years old. When the father was asked how he intends on taking care of his family financially, he didn't even know what financially meant.

In 1Corinthians 7;1 says, "Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: "It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman. But because of the temptation to sexual immortality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband." Just as you are to have a license to drive you are to have a license to have sexual intercourse. There is nothing more precious to a woman than her virginity.

If a woman gives herself to a man prior to marriage then there is no incentive for the man to show himself as being worthy to marry. Matthew 5:28 says, " But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustfull intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart." There are countless scriptures in the Bible that speak against both fornication and adultery.

So you say that you lost your virginity years ago and why does it make a difference at this point? When you become born again and baptized with the Holy Spirit you become covered with the blood of Jesus and a new creature in Christ. When this happens you become a "virgin" again. Once you have married then the two of you have the license for sexual intercourse.

In 1 Corinthians 7:4 says, " For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does." Once married, sexual intercourse should be a main ingredient within your marriage. Do not use sexual intercourse as a weapon or lack thereof as punishment.

Men and women have very different reactions to sexual intercourse. Husbands thrive on it to know that the are honored and respected by their wives. On the other hand, women attach emotion to sex and to know that her husband loves her. Keep the sex plentiful and you will be well on your way to a great marriage.