Keep It Hot and Steamy

I know that some of you may be shocked to hear me and feel that keeping it hot and steamy is worldly. Let me just say this, when sex is used to show your spouse love and affection it can work wonders in your marriage. The overall health of the marriage greatly depends on how sexual you two are on a regular basis. Keep it spontaneous and unexpected. Don't let it get routine with the same time, position, location. Remember there is nothing that says it only has to take place in the bedroom!

If there is a lack of sex, more often than not there is distance, loneliness, distrust, disrespect, and a general sense of "is it really worth it." However, the opposite is true if there is sex within the marriage. There is more closeness, intimacy, affection, trust, respect, and a general sense of "marriage is wonderful and joyous."

I am not saying that your entire marriage has to be all about sex, just make sure it is not taboo in your marriage. There are some very basic questions that you should ask your spouse, such as,

1.) What can I do to please you?
2.) How many times a month, week do you need sex?
3.) Is there anything that makes you feel uncomfortable?
4.) Do you want me to initiate?

These are questions to ask each other. Don't wait until it is time for intercourse, do it when you are just having casual conversation.

The worst thing that you can do is to use sex as a weapon or reward? Don't withhold or give based on the situation. 1 Corinthians 7:3-5, " Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power or her body: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife." This means that even when you may not want to, you must consent to your spouse.

If you do not provide this to your spouse and they are not strong credible witnesses unto God, they will stray and open the door to infidelity. It is easy to see why you don't want to use sex as a weapon, however it should not be used as a reward. When it is used as a reward, your spouse can begin to think it is only given when they do something that it extraordinary or out of the normal.

Keep it hot, don't always let your spouse know what is coming. Never do anything that your spouse is offended by, but don't let a little uncomfortablity stop you. Just because you are uncomfortable in the beginning, does not mean that you won't learn to love it once you have done it for a while. Sex is just like everything else. Practice makes perfect! Don't be afraid to explore new sexual interests between the two of you. Rock each others world!