Once you become married to one another it is important that you realize that you marry into each others financial lives as well. Debt that you carried becomes your spouses debt and vice versa. Everything becomes "ours" whether it is good or bad. You must work through this together as one.
Make it a priority to come together in agreement on how the debt will be handled and paid off as one. You will have to sacrafice which leads to obedience to God. Proverbs 22:7 says, " The rich rules over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender." Therefore, it is imperative that you strive to pay off all debt. You should be a servant to God not a creditor.
Have a meeting where you can come up with a systematic plan of getting rid of the debt so that you do not have to be a servant. Learn how to pay for things with cash rather than credit. I know that there are some things such as your house that you most likely can not pay with cash, but the general rule should be to use cash only.
The Bible says in Matthew 6:33,"Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness and all these things will be added unto you." This can not and will not happen unless you seek God first. So be sure to pray over you financial situation and invite the Holy Spirit to lead you over your finances.
God can not "add unto you" until he first knows that you are a good steward over what he has already given to you.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Monday, July 13, 2009
Dealing With Differences Of Opinion
We all know that we are different and therefore we have different views and understanding for the same situation. Two people can see and hear the exact same thing and give two completely different intrepretations of what occured.
As a married couple this happens more often than not. When it does make sure that you discuss the details with each other as each of you intrepeted them to be. Then if you can not come into agreement of what should, if anything, be done next take it to scripture.
The answer for every problem, situation, and circumstance is somewhere between Genesis and Revelations. You just have to be willing to take the time to find it. Once you do, then sit down and study the word. It may be necessary for you to each study it seperately and then to come back together for a final discussion. That is a determination that you have to make based on your personal relationship.
Pray over it individually and as a couple and invite the Holy Spirit to guide and direct what should occur next. Never try to figure it yourself.
As a married couple this happens more often than not. When it does make sure that you discuss the details with each other as each of you intrepeted them to be. Then if you can not come into agreement of what should, if anything, be done next take it to scripture.
The answer for every problem, situation, and circumstance is somewhere between Genesis and Revelations. You just have to be willing to take the time to find it. Once you do, then sit down and study the word. It may be necessary for you to each study it seperately and then to come back together for a final discussion. That is a determination that you have to make based on your personal relationship.
Pray over it individually and as a couple and invite the Holy Spirit to guide and direct what should occur next. Never try to figure it yourself.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Dealing With Long Distance
Not everyone is blessed with being in the same house with our spouse every day or most days. Unfortunately there are many times when each spouse is forced to be in different time zones, whether it is due to military, careers, children or what ever else.
This does not mean that your marriage has to suffer. The two of you can still maintain a strong and healthy marriage even if it does require some extra work. In the beginning, we were forced to be on opposite coasts. Here is what we did to make sure we were still kept close. If you are put in this situation follow some of these guidelines to at least help.
1. Continue to make time for each other. Whether it is on the phone, or our favorite the webcam. Let your spouse know that you are still willing to sacrafice time on their behalf.
2. Continue to share in all major decisions. Do not cut out each other when making decisions in regards to children, finances, careers etc.
3. Stay spiritually, emotionally, and mentally connected with each other.
4. Make it a point to visit each other taking turns of who does the traveling.
This can be difficult, but you have to trust God to give you the strength to get through this period in your marriage.
This does not mean that your marriage has to suffer. The two of you can still maintain a strong and healthy marriage even if it does require some extra work. In the beginning, we were forced to be on opposite coasts. Here is what we did to make sure we were still kept close. If you are put in this situation follow some of these guidelines to at least help.
1. Continue to make time for each other. Whether it is on the phone, or our favorite the webcam. Let your spouse know that you are still willing to sacrafice time on their behalf.
2. Continue to share in all major decisions. Do not cut out each other when making decisions in regards to children, finances, careers etc.
3. Stay spiritually, emotionally, and mentally connected with each other.
4. Make it a point to visit each other taking turns of who does the traveling.
This can be difficult, but you have to trust God to give you the strength to get through this period in your marriage.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Share In The Care of The Household
No where in the Bible does it say that there is women's work and man's work in the care of the home. Husbands and wives need to share in the upkeep of the house. Obviously there are some things one of you will be better at than the other, but there is nothing wrong with the husband vaccuuming and washing dishes, just as there is nothing wrong with the wife pulling weeds and mowing the lawn.
Take turns in the care of house, you both live there and both make a mess. If you have children that are old enough, teach them to do chores. Even if you have to go behind them and re-do a lot of it, do not let them grow up without having chores. I speak from experience. I didn't have chores growing up and as a adult it was hard for me to clean up and became a source of stress for me.
Don't let it be a source of nagging, just know that it has to be done so just do it and get it over with. It is taking stewardship over your house. The Bible talks about how we are to be good stewards over what we have in our possession, so just do it.
Come up with a routine that is good for everyone to make sure nothing gets forgotten or duplicated because one person didn't know another didn't already do it. Share in the care and stewardship of the household.
Take turns in the care of house, you both live there and both make a mess. If you have children that are old enough, teach them to do chores. Even if you have to go behind them and re-do a lot of it, do not let them grow up without having chores. I speak from experience. I didn't have chores growing up and as a adult it was hard for me to clean up and became a source of stress for me.
Don't let it be a source of nagging, just know that it has to be done so just do it and get it over with. It is taking stewardship over your house. The Bible talks about how we are to be good stewards over what we have in our possession, so just do it.
Come up with a routine that is good for everyone to make sure nothing gets forgotten or duplicated because one person didn't know another didn't already do it. Share in the care and stewardship of the household.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Be A Ephesians 5 Husband
Husbands be a Ephesians 5 husband to your wife. In this chapter it says, "Husbands, love your wife as Christ loved the church." Your wife should not only feel, but know that you love her unconditionally at all times even when times are hard.
When a wife knows that her husband loves her unconditionallly she will be more secure within her marriage and with herself. Women need to know that she and the children are secure through her husband. No where in the Bible are women given this charge of loving her husband.
When women do not have this security, it opens the door to uneasiness and insecurity both within her marriage and herself. Husbands should be the first person a wife turns to in times of unrest and trouble. As a response, husbands need to be able to provide or do whatever it takes to rectify the situation. This is not to say that wives expect their husbands to work miracles at every problem or circumstance, it is to say that she needs to know that he will actively and diligently pursue a solution. When a husband does this, even if the wife does not necessarily agree with the method she will strengthen her respect.
Husbands and wives are two individuals that have come together as one. It doesn't mean that they will agree on everything. God created us to have our own mind, and the Holy Spirit speaks to each of us differently at different times. You should be able to come together in agreement. Even if you disagree on the course, you should agree on the destination
When a wife knows that her husband loves her unconditionallly she will be more secure within her marriage and with herself. Women need to know that she and the children are secure through her husband. No where in the Bible are women given this charge of loving her husband.
When women do not have this security, it opens the door to uneasiness and insecurity both within her marriage and herself. Husbands should be the first person a wife turns to in times of unrest and trouble. As a response, husbands need to be able to provide or do whatever it takes to rectify the situation. This is not to say that wives expect their husbands to work miracles at every problem or circumstance, it is to say that she needs to know that he will actively and diligently pursue a solution. When a husband does this, even if the wife does not necessarily agree with the method she will strengthen her respect.
Husbands and wives are two individuals that have come together as one. It doesn't mean that they will agree on everything. God created us to have our own mind, and the Holy Spirit speaks to each of us differently at different times. You should be able to come together in agreement. Even if you disagree on the course, you should agree on the destination
The Power of Multiple Streams of Income
Nowdays, there is no such things as job security. As a couple it is imperative that your ensure the financial health of your family, therefore I strongly suggest that you have multiple streams of income.
Make sure that you are not relying simply on one single paycheck every payday to get your family through the next week. This does not mean that I am saying that if only one of you works the other has to go back to work. What I am saying is make sure you have multiple sources, whether it is a side business, annuity, stocks or whatever else possible that will be there to provide for you in a time of need.
If only one of you is working and you lose your single paycheck, you have to know what to do in the interm until you get income following again. Trust me, when I say it is far better to have less than to have none. Do whatever it takes to make sure that you don't have to experience having nothing.
Get together with your spouse and make a plan today for your family to get multiple streams of income so that you will always have something rather than nothing to make sure your basic needs are being met.
Make sure that you are not relying simply on one single paycheck every payday to get your family through the next week. This does not mean that I am saying that if only one of you works the other has to go back to work. What I am saying is make sure you have multiple sources, whether it is a side business, annuity, stocks or whatever else possible that will be there to provide for you in a time of need.
If only one of you is working and you lose your single paycheck, you have to know what to do in the interm until you get income following again. Trust me, when I say it is far better to have less than to have none. Do whatever it takes to make sure that you don't have to experience having nothing.
Get together with your spouse and make a plan today for your family to get multiple streams of income so that you will always have something rather than nothing to make sure your basic needs are being met.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Be A Proverbs 31 Wife
It always gets me when people say that they do not have a instruction manual to life. That is the one of the biggest lies ever told - it's the Bible. Wives be a Proverbs 31 women for your husband. Proverbs 31:10-12 says, "Who can find a virtuous wife? for her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her. So he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life."
Wives this means a couple of things. First it means that your husbands are to find you. Second it means that your worth is far above rubies to her husband. Third it means that her husband trust her so that he will suffer not lack. Fourth it means that you always edify your husband each and every day regardless of what the day.
The remaining verses discus how a wife is to care for the matters of the household. Whenever you want to know what to do as a wife study Proverbs 31 and allow the Holy Spirit to teach you to be the wife that God intended for you to be towards your husband.
Always go to the word of God for direction. Other wives may be good wives, but they are good wives to their husbands. What is good for your husband is different and the Holy Spirit will speak to you for your marriage.
Wives this means a couple of things. First it means that your husbands are to find you. Second it means that your worth is far above rubies to her husband. Third it means that her husband trust her so that he will suffer not lack. Fourth it means that you always edify your husband each and every day regardless of what the day.
The remaining verses discus how a wife is to care for the matters of the household. Whenever you want to know what to do as a wife study Proverbs 31 and allow the Holy Spirit to teach you to be the wife that God intended for you to be towards your husband.
Always go to the word of God for direction. Other wives may be good wives, but they are good wives to their husbands. What is good for your husband is different and the Holy Spirit will speak to you for your marriage.
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